October 6, 2020


There were times in the last few days when he couldn’t quite remember where he was or why all those people in gowns and masks, or plastic facial shields—which, he thought were really funny, and made them look like actors in a ‘Star Wars’ movie—were surrounding him. He did remember getting into a special helicopter and then, after sleeping for a while, going for a ride in a black van, waving at those suckers who were on foot, instead of being in a big SUV like he was. He was glad to be out now from wherever he had been and he was pretty sure that he was on the way home. The only problem was that something was really bothering him. He didn’t really feel like the great ‘Himself’. He was beginning to think that nobody really liked him or admired his fantastic management skills. He determined that the easiest way he could demonstrate his greatness was to give another really big party at the big house where he lived. Then, a faint memory of the last party he had given there crossed his mind. Maybe, he asked himself, it didn’t work out very well because it was in the small garden? Oh well, he would have the party on the big lawn, have his staff hire a different bunch of cooks and not invite those sick people who came the last time! Then, he had another great idea! He would also have his staff hire enough of the ‘audience’ so that they would act just like the folks at his campaign rallies! That way, he would be certain to have the folks cheering for him and chanting his name—just like they used to do. He really loved to give big parties—especially now that he didn’t have to pay for them.


     The lawn party went off without a hitch. He was feeling so good that he finally remembered he was still in an election campaign and that his opposition was taking advantage of his absence from the campaign circuit. He knew that he couldn’t really debate anybody and that he had lost some of his loyal supporters when he had tried to shout his way through the last one. His favorite lawyer friend, Rudy, knowing how much Donald loved to climb aboard his big private jet (sometimes called ‘Air Force One’) and salute when he reached the top of the stairs, suggested he go south to Florida where it was warmer—he still had lots of friends there—and show the people of American that he was healthy and back on the campaign trail. Besides, the people of Florida that would come to see and hear him talk were so loyal they wouldn’t wear masks or embarrass him by keeping to the guidelines for ‘social distancing’. It would be just like the ‘old days’! Unfortunately, people kept reminding him that during the ‘old days’, over Two-Hundred Thousand Americans had died from the virus he had claimed would “just go away”, and some of the really crazy ones even blamed the great ‘Himself’ for causing at least half of those deaths.


     The Florida sunshine made him feel so good that he asked his buddy, Rudy, for advice as to how he could ‘step on’ Joe Biden’s parade. Joe had scheduled a ‘Town Hall’ type interview for the night they were supposed to debate—when he had refused to participate because he had made such a mess of the last one he didn’t dare give that kind of a repeat performance. Somebody on his staff suggested they had connections at NBC and why not just put on a Trump show at the same time as Joe Biden’s Town Hall? There was a lot of laughter and back slapping over that idea and they booked the time slot easily because the NBC folks had no morals or scruples and the Debate Committee had no guts, courage or clout.


     So, I promised myself that I would try to give equal time to each broadcast and I started by giving the first ten minutes to Joe’s Town Hall. As soon as those ten minutes were up I switched the channel to NBC but Surprise!, our station wasn’t carrying the new Trump Shitshow! I went back to the Biden broadcast and then tried several more times to find Trump— but to no avail. I went to bed wondering how many other cities didn’t carry the Trump propaganda program on their NBC station? Since I never actually heard the real Donald J. Trump last night, I have to rely on the composite media analyses to write their conclusion that he was the same Trump he had been during the first ‘debate’: full of hate, anger and venom at Joe Biden and the moderator of his special ‘Town Hall’ performance. I had to conclude that Trump is still Trump and continue to wish that Joe Biden would develop even a modicum of humor to accompany his kind and thoughtful presentation of his plans for American —if he is elected our next President.


     Fortunately, for America, it’s beginning to look like our horrible and, to me, embarrassing, ‘Trump experience’ is about over. However, I am sure that Donald Trump, Mitch McConnell, Bill Barr and the rest of the ‘Trump enablers’ will do all they can, in whatever time they have remaining in office, to destroy as much of the little remaining ‘democracy’ as our electorate—and our courts—will allow them. I suspect it will take two presidential terms for the Democrats to just us back to normal and then about four more just to get our democracy even with Canada—if our electorate has the will, and energy, to do so. Sorry folks, we have a lot of ‘catching up’ to do.


     And that’s not dealing with the ‘Supreme Court’ situation. I believe that Joe Biden demonstrated good sense in not making any comment on a situation over which he, presently, has absolutely no control. I suspect that he, like about 60% of our electorate, hopes the Republican Senators will finally come to the conclusion that the next court appointment should be deferred until after the coming presidential election. Let’s hope, but don’t count on it. Unfortunately, the Trump-McConnell team makes the Obama-Biden team took like a pair of Presbyterian ministers playing softball when the game is totally hardball— with all of the marbles in everybody’s pockets at stake. Maybe, one of these days, Joe will wake up and realize that he is playing against a bunch of rattlesnakes that don’t obey any rules other than those which benefit themselves. Joe, don’t trust rattlesnakes!


     Hubris didn’t even bat an eyelash when I brought a few carrots out to the corral. He said that he had tried to watch the fool who was supposed to be on NBC, but our city didn’t even carry that program. How in the hell that happened, nobody seems to know—or care. Personally, I was as confused as Hubris, because Albuquerque is supposed to be Trump country. Our electorate isn’t exactly famous for their integrity to honor or principle. The people who have ‘run’ New Mexico are of Spanish (Sephardic Jewish) descent. Those folks out here believe in the old ’Patron’ system—just as Italians must acknowledge and accept the ‘Mafia’ system which is still very operative in that ‘old’ country—the ‘Patron’ system is in ours. If you don’t believe me, just take another look at the history of the ‘Richardson Administration’ in our state. It was, probably one of the most corrupt administrations of the last century. Why that corrupt, egotistic, asshole, Bill Richardson, isn’t in jail is only due to the stupidity of the New Mexican electorate. Real New Mexicans are taught to accept total crooks as their ‘leaders’. It’s a wonderful place to live—if you have a great sense of humor about the realities of life. As I’ve written before, where else in America can you live in a third world culture and have flushing toilets and clean running water?


     Sorry, no Hi Ho Hubris tonight, I’ve had too much to drink already and I’m not dumb, or brave enough, to saddle up.




                 Copyright, October 16, 2020, Louis J. Christen 

The Lawn Party. Lou (The Lone Curmudgeon) Writes Again!