March 31, 2019

As Hubris and I were making our way on the little path through the boulders to Howie’s place of business I found myself thinking:

     “Robert probably didn’t even slam the door behind him when he picked up his completed report, turned the lights out in his office, closed his office door and dropped his bundle of notes on Bill’s (his old boss) desk. Almost two years of work, $25 million in expenses, several top members of Trumps campaign staff either in jail or going to jail, and he had to turn in his report to a person appointed by the very person he was chosen to investigate and who thought his mission was unnecessary in the first place. On his way to Bill’s office he remembered his difficulty as a child when playing “Pin the Tail on the Donkey”.  Now he was chosen to play “Pin the Tail on the Elephant” and Bill held the blindfold.  He had to admit that if the “tail” was exclusively Trump’s campaign colluding with the Russians to win the election it didn’t belong on the elephant but if “obstruction of justice” or any other serious miss-use of the Chief Executive Office power had occurred it was not his job to create a new game or even a new tail. He had done his best uncover the facts—and just the facts. Others would have to create a new game—if his report ever saw the light of day. Now, it was up to Bill to remove the blindfold.”

      When we finally reached Howie’s place, Hubris trotted right up to the little blue sign and gave a little whinny of expectation. He knew he was going to get one of Howie’s special sun-dried oats and alfalfa-flour cookies but I told him he was going to have to wait a few minutes before I could finish talking to Howie and bring the cookie out to him. I wrapped the reins loosely around the steel pole that held the blue sign and went into Howie’s place of business. It felt the same as the last time I was there. I felt like I had walked out of the industrial age into the age of artificial intelligence! I went up to the counter, paid for an over-priced cup of black coffee and the cookie for Hubris and told the young lady clerk to please tell Howie that Lou was here and had some important information for him. She came back to the counter in an instant and invited me to come around the counter and led me down a short hallway to Howie’s private office. Howie got up from behind his paper covered desk, pulled up a chair along-side his desk, and invited me to sit down. The chair was just as hard and uncomfortable as the chairs in his store but I had a serious job to do and my being comfortable couldn’t be a consideration.

    After a brief exchange of pleasantries I got right to the point. I asked Howie to describe his typical customer. After he did that I pointed out that what he had just described was almost exactly the profile of a Bernie supporter. Then, as that reality was sinking in, I asked him how his running against Bernie for the party nomination might look to his customers. Either the sun had gone behind a cloud or the electric power had a brief short-circuit because the room dimmed and Howie’s mood seemed to darken. It was time for me to try to lighten up the conversation. I pointed out the fact that Bernie was all ideas but had no practical business experience and sure could use his advice and direction.  I suggested that neither he nor Bernie could accomplish what was needed to run the country but together they would make a great team. That line seemed to cheer him up a bit. Then, when I felt he was really paying attention, I asked him how old was Bernie and how much political experience did he have. He replied something to the effect that Bernie was in his late 70’s and he had little or no political experience. I had one more question. I asked him what gender were both he and Bernie. Of course he answered “male”. Then I dropped my bombshell.  I told Howie that he and Bernie desperately need a female as their leader and I told Howie that Kamala Harris should be that leader and be their team’s choice in running for President, Bernie should be their choice for the office of Vice President and they should include

in their party platform that fact that they both would  appoint Howie as the “Secretary of Commerce” or any other office where he could get four years of political experience.  The key element, as I told Howie, was that the country’s leadership was now and had been for a long time too big a job for one person. Now was the time for a “leadership team” to take over and that the three of them would make a great team.

    I was totally aware of the fact that any person who considered themselves a candidate for the office of President of the United States had to have an ego bigger than life itself but I hoped my “team concept” just possibly might over-rule the ego factor this time around. Besides I had one even bigger idea but I had to get the team-concept idea across first. I asked Howie to give my suggestion serious thought and I would be back in a week or two to discuss it further. I also advised him that if he had any questions about my concept, he could find me at Lefty’s Saloon almost any late afternoon. I didn’t tell him that I had already spoken to Kamala or that I had told Bernie that his attempt to change the Democrat party from the “inside” was a terrible waste of time.

    So, I put my paper coffee cup in the trash basket and with my sun-dried oats and alfalfa flour cookie in my opened palm I fed it to Hubris. Then, I un-wrapped the reins from the pole, mounted up and with a hearty Hi Ho Hubris, Aaawaay!, we were off to Lefty’s place for a late-afternoon shot –or two.

         Copyright, March 31, 2019, Louis J. Christen

Lou, The Lone Curmudgeon, Writes Again